Pizza! Pizza!

Josh likes to make up songs as his day goes along.

Josh: "I like pizza all the time.  I like pizza when it's dark outside."

Lights come standard. Laces optional.

Josh got these preschool brain teaser cards from his Grandma Buchanan.  They rock!  They ask questions I would never think to ask and quite honestly I have been blown away at how many of these Josh is getting dead right without hesitation.  They are geared for 4-5 year olds.  (I am a proud mommy and had to gloat a little). 

One of the cards had a picture of a Chuck Taylor looking shoe missing the laces.
Me: "Josh, what is this shoe missing?"
Josh: "Lights."

Life is full of choices.

So, we like to give Josh "options".  It seems to let him think he is in control, but it is always a win/win situation for us.  Both options we are ok with.  It has helped a lot with putting out fires before they start.  But sometimes it backfires.

Tim (trying to put Josh to bed): "No toys. Go to bed."
Josh: "Ok.  You have TWO options.  You can let me play in the playroom OR you can let me sleep in the bed with you."
Tim changes the subject thinking he can dodge this one and all will be forgotten.  HA!
Josh: "Um, daddy....we WERE discussing your options."

Verizon commercial

Josh (while learning how to use Tim's walkie talkie): "Hello?  HELLO!!!!  Can you hear me now?"

Chopsticks

Josh: "So, is this like a Chinese fork?"

Missing my calling.

I was compared to a rodeo clown today on our 9 mile bike ride. When things get too serious, I just jump out there and make an ass of myself by doing something stupid....Like, oh, I don't know, almost getting into a head on collision with another biker. One of those "serious" bikers. You know the ones...they were helmets and say things like "on your left" when they pass. I aim to entertain.

Short story

Me: "I ran over a stick.  The end."

Fireworks in my mouth

Me (while brushing his teeth): "Spit."
Josh: "So, my spit is like fireworks."
Me: "How?"
Josh: "Because when I spit, it goes *poof*"

Frogs, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

Josh: "Give me a juicy hug mommy."
As I am giving him a huge hug goodnight he makes this noise (it is supposed to be a fart I squeezed out of him) that sounds like a machine gun.  Like he is rolling his tongue somehow but up against his teeth.
Me: "How are you making that noise?"
Josh: "Because it is boy stuff."