Priceless

Alexys: "Oh, I am not tan, I am GOLD!"

*She is in the first grade.

Hater blockers

Josh: "mommy I can't see....."
Me: "here, wear my glasses."

"Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and than I smell them like this!" - Mary Katherine Gallagher

Josh: "Yeah, it is about that time.  (long pause)  Time to shave my pits!"

*He then procedes to slap his armpits running down the hall singing "Shave those pits!  Shave those pitty pit pits....Shave those pitty pits!"

The Land Before Time

Josh: "When you bite people, it hurts.  You could bite a big bite, like a dinosaur, and you could kill someone.  Did dinosaurs bite people?"
Me: "Dinosaurs and people were never on the planet at the same time.  They were before people."
Josh: "So, they are REALLY old?  Older than you?"

Missy hissy

Angela:"My milk snake brings all the boys to the yard..."

Till death do us part.

Josh: "I will miss you when I pass away."
Me: "What do you mean when you say pass away?"
Josh: "When I get married. And move away. You, know....pass away."