Leader of the free world

Josh:"you are not the boss"
Tim:"yes, i am"
Josh:" no, you're not"
Tim:"then who is?"
Josh:"Barack Obama"

This message is brought to you by....

Josh spent the night with Jonathan. At 3am, Jonathan's alarm went off by accident.

Josh (to Samantha):"woah!  That scared me, I thought it was the Emergency Broadcasting System"

Like a G6

Tim:"he looks like he is a member of the Black Panthers"

Cleanliness is Godliness

Josh (whole i was giving him a shower):"Mommy, you have to clean my butt last...I don't want butt juice all over my body"

Top dollar shit

Angela:"I don't poop at home unless it is the weekend"
Tim:"if you poop at work, you get paid to poop"

words will never hurt me

Josh: "Where are you going, Mommy?"
Me (getting ready in the bathroom): "With grandma"
Josh: "Where?"
Me: "To the moon and back."
Josh: "How?"
Me: "Grandma has a spaceship."
Josh:"What is it made of?"

Tim (who by the way is to my knowledge, still asleep in the bed) pipes up. out of nowhere "STICKS AND STONES!!!"