Diaper genie

Angela: "oh no...josh you have an eyelash in your eye...make a wish..."
Josh: "I wish...."
Angela: "no....you say it to yourself then you blow the lash..."
Josh (whispering): "I wish......I could change diapers!!!!"

Gold Digger

Josh digging for pj's in the mountain of cleaned but not yet folded laundry.

Commando

Me: "don't forget to pull up your undies too."
Josh : "but I'm not wearing any underwear...(chuckles)"
Me: "oh my God, are you serious?"
Josh: "yeah....lol...all day I have gone without underwear...lol!"

The Tortoise and The Hare

Tim: "You found words much quicker than me.  It took me twenty minutes to find my three.  I should have found slow."

free range chicken

Josh (pushing the cart at Kroger): " I have to go grocery shopping. I need to get Waddles the organic chicken that he likes.  Lemme think what else... he also likes organic mac and cheese and organic broccol i and organic crackers.  Yep that's what he likes."

Rent a food

Tim: "Taco Bell would make Chinese 3 nights in a row."

One Size Fits...MOST

Tim: " tlbXL, that's my new nickname."

Recess

Brandon: "Im done with payroll...can we go outside & play?"

12 step program

Tim: "My belly button itches so bad!"
Me: "I told you I think it is Poison Ivy."
Tim: "I know.  I was in denial.  Now I am angry."

Night Owl

Josh: "I don't want to go to bed.  I want to be nocturnal.  Like a bat.  I want to sleep all day and play all night."