Oh I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner....

Me (while giving Josh a bath): "Something smells like cookies...did you fart Josh?"
Josh: "NO!"
Me: "Well, what does it smell like when you fart?"
Josh (thinking real hard): "Like......HOT DOGS!"

That's my boy.

Little Birdy

Me: "So, when you post a status update on Twitter, can people comment on it?"
Tim: "Oh My God Tonja....it is called a "tweet"....get with the lingo!

Bzzzzz...

Tim: "When you are not here...I run around naked.  That is how I get bug bites on my belly button!"

A message from God.

Jehovah's Witnesses came by our house today and dropped off a flyer.  An hour later.....

Josh (handing my the flyer): "Everyone is getting together tomorrow (Sun)."

Formula for disaster

Tim: "Hold on....let me open up AutoCAD."

*This is a running joke as Tim and my father make EVERYTHING more complex then they need to be.

Tim:  "Then we could have the drawing to scale and we wouldn't have to use Trig."

*This time, this is all referring to our pool set up.  I thought you just filled it up with water.

Hair of the Dog

Josh (following Tim into the garage): "What are you doing?"
Tim: "Getting a beer."
Josh: "I get thirsty for beer in the morning."

The exits are here, here, here, here....EVERYWHERE

Josh was playing with a ceramic skull Aunt Rene made for Tim.  He was trying to shove a Trio block into the opening on the bottom (where a neck would attach)

Me: "What are you doing?"
Josh: "Trying to put this in his butthole."
Me: "Josh, buttholes are exit only.  Plus, I don't want you to break that."

A couple of minutes later, Josh is trying to shove the rubber stopper from his piggy bank in the same openning.

Me: "Okay....now what are you doing?"
Josh: "Trying to make sure nothing goes in his butthole."